What to Do When You Want to Punch Someone in the Face

by | Aug 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | 3 comments

I had a conversation last night with someone and it made me think about how much has changed for me in the past couple of years and how much more at peace I am with “stuff”.

“Stuff” that used to make me go bonkers inside  — let me give you a few examples:

  • people that go to the “10 items or less line” had more than 10 items
  • People who didn’t know what they wanted in the car ahead of me at the drive thru and had to sit and read the menu before they ordered
  • a co-worker who annoyed the crap out of me because they didn’t know when to shut up
  • and especially when someone would give me suggestions about what THEY THINK I should do with my kids.

(That last one had to be the worst.)

I’d have a ton of feelings that would wave through me – irritation, frustration, annoyed, impatient and sometimes anger.  I remember coming back from lunch and being SO annoyed about the drive thru guy that I let it ruin my whole day.  OMG – someone could do something that would make me stew for DAYS.

WHY?  Because I allowed it.  How else could I feel when these things happened?  What I didn’t realize was that I was bringing this on myself.  I never realized that I was making the choice to feel irritated, annoyed, impatient and angry with these people.  It was THEIR fault that I was in a bad mood or my day was ruined.  (I’m actually cracking up right now thinking how ridiculous this sounds).

DUH.  Really?  The person in that 10 items or less line didn’t even know who I was but he practically ruined my week.  Bwahahahaha.

Wow, what power they had over me.  Good thing I’m over THAT.

What the hell are you talking about Suzy?  Let me explain.  It was my thoughts about these situations. It was simply that.  I could have thought anything I wanted about the guy in the drive thru but I chose to be pissed off as all hell.  How dare he make me wait in line?  It’s lunch time – doesn’t he know I’m in a rush?

How I stopped doing this was by asking myself how I WANT to feel in these circumstances.  I certainly didn’t want to be pissed off and angry.  I wanted to be someone who didn’t care about the drive thru guy reading the menu.  Maybe the person in the “10 items or less” line was there because they got a call from school that their kid was sick and they had to grab some meds or soup ingredients before they picked them up. Maybe my co-worker really felt passionate about a project and felt the need to speak up.  We may never really know why people do what they do or say what they say but we can control how WE think/feel about it.  We can give these people the benefit of the doubt and move on with our day instead of thinking that it’s personal and letting it ruin our day/week.

I’m not saying to give repeat offenders the benefit of the doubt (that will be another post) but for these circumstances, why let them decide how our day will be.

Don’t YOU want to decide how your day will be?  Wouldn’t you rather be relaxed and calm?

I’d love to hear what you think – please comment with your thoughts below!!

 

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3 Comments

  1. Kerrie

    HI Suzy! This is great stuff! It’s so hard to realize in the moment that I’m triggered that it is really a choice what to think about it. It seems like the feelings just happen automatically. This is a good reminder for me to use my feelings as a gauge for what I’m thinking, not simply what I’m experiencing!

    Reply
  2. Geri

    Suzy,
    I try also not to get wound up about the people with 15-20 items in the 10 item aisle. I do better these days because I realize they are not actually setting out to annoy me!

    Reply
  3. Debra

    Suzy,
    Love the vivid reminder of how easy it is to be triggered to respond to things. Great blog post!

    Reply

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